Growing Up Deaf - Update 6

Earlier in my Growing Up Deaf - Update 3 post, I talked about MSSD. I was out at MSSD all day during their academic bowl as I mentioned in the previous post, MSSD's Academic Bowl.

One of the first things I realized from back then while talking with a couple parents is that my signing skills weren't exactly that great. So if I had gone to MSSD:
- I'd be more oral than signing, but I'd still be learning sign.
- would I have fit in regardless of my signing ability?
- would I have a learning experience like I had with being mainstreamed?
- would I have had more of a social life than with the hearing school mainstreaming?
   (Growing Up Deaf - parts 18, 19, 20, 21 - Teasing and Mistreatment and serial label)
- would I have had better friends than with the hearing school mainstreaming?

Even after considering all this, what was the best thing for me to do? Probably mainstreaming was the better choice.

Growing Up Deaf Update 5

Something else came to mind when I was talking with someone about their school years, related to the Growing Up Deaf Part 19 and Part 20 posts. Back when I attended the School From Hell, there were a number of times some kids angrily asked me why I was a year older than them. I told them maybe due to my birthdate being so early in the school year? Maybe something else. Or I just plain said I didn't know.

The truth was that I attended kindergarten not for the normal one year, but two years. Remember I said I lost my hearing around age 5 in Growing Up Deaf Part 5?

Had I told them, who knows what they would have done?

You Have To Be Hearing To Say Yikes!

Seek Geo's Deaf? YIKES!! got me laughing a bit. Sure, I've had my share of people who have said "I'm sorry" when they find I'm deaf. Nothing to be sorry about. Let's communicate!

Two of the most oddball things I'd ever heard, and fortunately, I've only heard them said once...
- Heard from a friend who heard it from someone else - "If I touch you, will I become deaf also?"
- This was from a Christian Scientist mother whose son I was friends with. She thought deafness was caused by spirits or something like that. She asked me if she could cure me. I didn't laugh, just thought I'd let her try. She then puts her fingers in my ears after I take off my hearing aids, says something which I've mostly forgotten, one part saying something about deaf spirits. But of course, no hearing improvement.

I even had one person who took one look at my hearing aids, tapped them, and said "are these things on?"

Maybe I should have tapped the other person in the forehead and ask "Is your brain on? Good. Same here. Don't tap me and I won't tap you."

Growing Up Deaf Update 4

Jamie and I were talking about the mumps when she was writing Mumps Can Lead to Deafness. I mention in Growing Up Deaf Part 1 and Part 5 about the diagnosis and how I lost my hearing. But she gave me a historical aspect that I had to check.

I have a paper from my doctor back then that my dad was "trying to locate record of MMR." I don't think it was ever found.

According to the Measles Vaccine Questions and Answers page, the mumps vaccine wasn't available til 1967. Neither was the MMR vaccine til 1971.

Seems I wasn't vaccinated in time. I'll find out the story sometime, somehow.

Life's Little Musings

There's days that I wonder how things would have been different with me.

When I was adopted, mom was married to a highway patrol officer who died in the line of duty a little over a year later. I'm wondering how things would be different had he lived. Would he still be a patrolman? Would we still be living in California?

I started losing my hearing around kindergarten at 5 when we lived in Kentucky. Would I have still lost or kept my hearing if we stayed in California and adoptive dad not died? Things would have been totally different then.

Suppose I had not been adopted, kept by birth mom? I probably would be hearing. Would birth mom and dad still be married?

If I had been hearing, where would I have gone to school and college? Would I have been in the military?

Back in 1995, if I did not have that accident with the sign truck, I'm only guessing that my arthritis would not have gotten started and my knees would be in better shape today. Or maybe it would have had its onset delayed?

I'm also wondering how things would have been changed had I gone to MSSD and not gone to the School from Hell.

I'm wondering if it's possible to go back in time and check all the possibilities...

"Growing Up Deaf" Update 3

Sherlock Steve's blog post against the deafness.about.com post! reminded me of a few things.

But first, in my Growing up Deaf - Part 11 post, I mentioned that I had printed information on MSSD, but never went. I talked with mom about this when I went home to join my family for a wedding. She said she and dad wanted me to stay home and learn more. I'll talk more with her when I head back sometime.

As mentioned before, I didn't quite get full immersion into deaf culture til college, with some immersion here and there in middle and high schools, deaf church ministries, and the deaf camp in Louisiana. My dad got upset a lot of the time when I had my hearing aids off, even when I was lipreading him. Did that make him an audist? I don't think so. They never forced hearing aids onto me, just encouraged me to wear them.

As for that four year old kid, the decision to wear his implant is up to him. It was a major mistake for the doctor to tell his mother to hold him down. I'm surprised someone didn't call Child Protective Services on the guy. Right now is the time for worried mom to work on communications, both sign and reading/writing. Nothing's worse than a deaf kid with no language. What a waste of a good mind.

When is Audism Not Audism? - Part 4

So I ask once more, when is audism not audism?

Returning to the definition of audism, it is the belief that hearing and speaking are better than sign language. It is the notion that one is superior based on one’s ability to hear or behave in the manner of one who hears. It is all in the attitude. Hearing people who refuse to do anything other than speak to the deaf person, thinking they'll be understood, may be committing audism or may simply be unfamiliar with how to communicate. Adding to the term confuses and obfuscates the issue even more. Elimination of audism begins with education. Sometimes all it takes is the deaf person doing something with the audist that can change the attitude of the audist.

Bullying, social rejection, and cliques are not audism. They are issues of sociality that are faced by all members of society, no matter what the disability. There is still freedom of speech, but there are rules that must be followed here and there. This is not audism, but rule enforcement. However, Arthur Nonymous in a final comment in Part 2 had a good point.

Being offered tools for hearing better is not audism. It is a choice, to accept or refuse. The underlying hearing loss is still there. Education of the parents and user about the hearing tools is not audism, but informing them of the choices.

Deaf people will still be around, even with hearing assistance devices. Being militant will only make things worse and may cause other hearing people to commit even worse acts of discrimination and/or audism or simply refuse to deal with any deaf person, thus fueling the audism fire.

When is Audism Not Audism? - Part 3

Here's another of Jamie Berke's articles on Deaf Culture - Audism. It's got a lot of good points here including a couple of good links, especially the two resources near the end.

Please do not say that I don't understand. I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, felt the emotional impact, and then some. I have even talked about my own experiences in my Growing Up Deaf posts (parts 8, 9, and 10) in going to school, having experienced the Oralist vs Manualist fight. I posted Affected Emotionally by the AG Bell Protests? when a recent protest at AGBell in DC brought all the emotions back to the surface. My final post on the Growing Up Deaf serial sums things up.

Just because there is a bill out there for children for hearing aids and CIs doesn't mean it's an audist bill. The person sponsoring it may have the wrong ideas, but it is making more available of these tools to help, whether used or not. It simply means that you're giving the child a chance to hear with a hearing aid or a CI. If they don't help the child, not a problem. They are tools. The child can decide later on if they want to use hearing aids or CIs.

Completely separating ourselves from the hearing world would be a mistake. One would need to deal with the hearing people at some time or another. This is not a time for us to be divided based on the this word's meaning. What unites us is a common theme, our hearing loss. Don't let this become the equivalent of the Civil War, one that nearly destroyed our country.

Next: Part 4

When is Audism Not Audism? - Part 2

Let's move back in time when the Oralism vs Manualism debate was hotter, and the child was mainstreamed or in a deaf school. For the child who was mainstreamed, there were often issues such as being able to follow along with the lesson and classroom discussion including socialization with peers and classmates. In some schools, especially middle, there is a lot of peer pressure, wanting to fit in, and acceptance/rejection. The kids with disabilities could be instantly rejected the day they joined that school and/or bullied to an extent. With deaf kids who had this issue, this was not audism at all. It was plain ignorance and immaturity on the part of the non-disabled kids and in some cases, adults. Bullying can happen anywhere, regardless of disability.

Refer back to my Growing Up Deaf posts parts 18, 19, 20, and 21 on Teasing and Mistreatment. Again, as I said in the previous paragraph, it was not audism.

In Jamie Berke's article, Worse Than Last...Not at All. - A Growing Up Deaf Memory, she talks of being picked last. I had this exact same thing happen to me, not occasionally, but all the time. That is not audism, but a form of social rejection. You could SEE it in their eyes when I was last to be picked, an "oh crap, we got him" look. There was also another HEARING boy who had this same issue, and team captains often debated who to pick! Yet, the gym teacher did nothing, even though they knew about my deafness! I actually had ONE gym teacher stand up to someone who was really giving me trouble! There was another disabled girl who was in the same middle school as I, who was also rejected. So again, it was not audism, but social rejection. Mix that with immaturity and ignorance...

Remember this relay log in An Example of What Deaf Jobseekers Face? That was not audism. It was a recruiter who wasn't familiar with the relay and got intimidated and nervous by the process.

Next: Part 3

When is Audism Not Audism? - Part 1

I'm seeing many other deaf call any kind of mistreatment of them audism. It's become too much of a blanket term. But first, before I start, the definition of audism as coined by Tom Humphries in his unpublished 1975 work "The Making of a Word;"

"Audism- (o diz m) n. the notion that one is superior based on one’s ability to hear or behave in the manner of one who hears."

In short, it's the application of hearing ability onto someone who has a hearing loss and may or may not use a hearing assistance device, and expect them to be able to hear well. I have often said that with many deaf, hearing and understanding can easily be two different things. Just because something is heard, if at all, does not mean it will be understood. It stereotypes those with hearing losses. Before I continue;

Audism by Susan F. Crist

She's right about how we've expanded the term. Thus, this is why others have said while others think it's audism, most likely it may not. Wikipedia's definition of audism seems to have a somewhat slanted view.

Think about how blind people feel when a lot of the world is highly visual in this article, Being blind, 'you have to be adventurous'. What would they call it? Visualism? It's quite true our world is highly sensual. This reminds me of a short story by HG Wells, The Country of the Blind where every citizen is blind, and there is no such thing as sight. Now apply this to a country of the deaf, where every citizen is deaf, and there is no such thing as hearing.

There's an interesting parallel to this short story and the hearing/deaf world. Near the end of the story, the blind doctors want to remove his eyes to "cure him."

Next: Part 2

"Growing Up Deaf" Post Update 2 - Part 2

After doing some more research on this Utley book, Google had a page that contained a passage that says exactly how it is with those who were in oral schools and were forbidden to even learn or use sign, and then learned sign later;

Effective education for learners with exceptionalities By Festus E. Obiakor, Cheryl Anita Rose Utley, and Anthony F. Rotatori. ISBN 076230975X, 9780762309757.

This will put you on page 240. Read the last paragraph up to where it mentions cued speech.

At least some of those who read that will see themselves in it. Powerful stuff right there!

This doesn't mean the oralists were completely wrong in their methods. It means that total communications, meaning speech/lipreading AND signing, should have been included and used.

"Growing Up Deaf" Post Update 2 - Part 1

Update from Growing Up Deaf - Part 10.

I managed to find a classmate from third grade on a social networking site and she remembered me. Then I broke out the report cards and checked some notations made way long ago. One thing that I missed all these years was something written in my first grade report card.

"REGULAR grade 2. No need for special class. Definitely *no* 'deaf' class."

Perhaps something more surprising was buried in one of the grading categories, under Music, was "Auditory Training." Also listed in there was "Utley book." Has anyone had experience with this? Google gives me mention of auditory/visual speech recognition. Then under "Speech and Phonics" is "Child shows desire to communicate orally." These were "primary deaf-oral classes" according to the supplement stapled to the report card.

Interesting what one finds when one breaks out the old report cards and looks through them.

Next - Part 2

"Growing Up Deaf" Post Update

Back in my Growing Up Deaf - Part 6 post, I mentioned something about a character called P. Mooney. Apparently, I was using the wrong search keywords. I tried again recently and found something.

http://www.pearsonassessments.com/pldkp.aspx

...and a closeup of the puppet on page 4...

http://www.cdlcpreschool.org/documents/MicrosoftWord-Oct08.pdf

...and then there's the Whee post on a blog called School of Blog...

Amazing what we find when we remember more...

Deaf-Blind Man Facing Child Porn Charges

Someone passed this article on to me, Deaf, sight-impaired man not competent to face child porn charges, about a deaf-blind man who is accused of uploading child porn pics to a website. Another search found me this article, Attorney General Abbott's Investigators Arrest Waco Student Following Child Porn Indictments.

The major issue I see here is that when he uploaded the pics to the website, he had to have known where he was uploading it and what he was uploading. He had to have known that what he was doing was wrong, even with low english and/or communication skills. According to AG Abbott's site, Lopez was enrolled in Texas State Technical College's Computer Maintenance Technology program. At least some good English skills are needed to get on the internet and be enrolled in college classes.

However, we know how hackers can at times remotely take over or zombie a computer. Was Lopez knowledgeable enough with his computer to know something may be wrong with it? Did he notice anything amiss like unusual slowdowns or extra files? Did he use some sort of protection on it like a firewall or malware/virus checkers?

I wonder if they've tried to make him understand the charges by rephrasing things in a lower grade level.

Designer Babies or Borgs? Deaf or Not?

I was reading up on the UK controversy regarding IVF and deaf embryos on i711's The Deaf Embryo Debate post and a few more on USA-L News. Here, it's more a question of ethics. Others have asked why are we trying to play God? This question has often been in forum- and list-demolishing abortion debates.

First, a little science fiction. How many of us are familiar with the Star Trek character called the Borg? Borg history is here - http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Borg_history

"We are Borg. Resistance is futile."

Then on Jamie Berke's blog, Deaf IVF Embryos, Natural Deaf Babies, and Choices, I made a comment about the Borg and what keeps us from getting to the point where we're more machine than human.

"You will be assimilated."

When she said she was going to post about the UK controversy, something came to mind related to the Borg. What's to stop us from getting to the point where we're more Borg/machine than human or being born that way? Voyager had a scene where an away team beamed onto a Borg cube open a nursery ‘drawer’ that had a baby inside with Borg implants. This would be the "maturation chamber" shown in Voyager's Mortal Coil episode (season 4, episode 12). It seems Voyager had at least a point in asking indirectly where we will stop when we actually make a Borg. Then the question will be when being human stops and when being Borg starts.

"Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own."

What's to stop our "Borg-ed" offspring from "assimilating" others? Yes, I know it's science fiction, but even then, sci-fi has a way of coming true. Science has created nanomachines.

There was a book I remember reading where this doctor 'modifies' embryo genes so that the kid doesn't grow up to become an alcoholic or something like that. What's to stop that from happening so that deafness and other diseases are 'edited' out of the genes and 'perfect' humans are born? Some other TV show episodes have gone down this path. Historically, cultures have killed, hidden, or limited those with certain disabilities.

Think of what the total cost would be when IVF combines with embryo implantation and/or gene modification. A rich person's procedure. Something only done in sci-fi. Could it happen today or is it already happening?

What's stopping us from creating "the perfect baby and/or human" without illness or disability?

"Your culture will adapt to serve us. Resistance is futile."

Now that's Borg perfection!

Deaf College Students Without Support Services

As a college student myself, it's hard enough going back to classes after some time. But when you find you have to rely on other students to help out in getting notes, you risk getting a student who does not take good notes. While it's good to have an interpreter, it's even better when you have one who reads the course text(s) and sometimes actually tries to do the course work at home.

But what about students at Central Washington University in Ellensburg, Washington, who have transcribing services? This is a difficult enough thing to do at times, especially when you have fast-talking instructors and those who sometimes turn their classroom into Comedy Central.

Check this article;

Dispute between transcribers and CWU leaves deaf, hard of hearing students without key support

Can a college's disabilities services office do without a transcription service? Can deaf students use the Powerpoint slides and the course book(s) including what the teacher writes on the board? There are times when you don't need to know every single word the instructor says, just the important things and make notes of that. with the exception of classes like math. There are carbonless notebooks that that are great for notes. When one writes on one sheet, the writing appears on the sheet underneath it.

What kind of support services do you look for in a college other than interpreters? One must remember that the Typewell program used at CWU is different than CART.

AOL Releases Real-Time IMing for the Deaf!

Just came across this article;

AOL Launches Real-Time Instant Messaging Targeted to Deaf and Hard of Hearing Users

What does this mean for us? It means that rather than waiting for the other person to finish typing SEND or ENTER to send the entire message, we can see everything the person types just like on a TTY!

No more waiting for the other person! Real-time communications! Whoo-hoo! We need that!

Deaf Scams via AIM

Did anyone get an AIM message from someone claiming to be an FBI agent, law enforcement officer, etc? It most likely is a scam. They will often offer you something like this if you work for them online;

- cash every month or week, usually nearly $1,000
- a new vehicle
- pay for vehicle registration, typically a few hundred
- have you fill out an application which most likely you will send to a completely different address

They may say something about helping other deaf. Don't fall for this scam. You will most likely lose money and be a victim of ID theft. Report it to the people they were trying to fraudulently represent.

One other IM scam I've heard about is how the FBI IMs the so-called victims. Maybe the FBI/law enforcement does this from time to time when the victim requests but a lot of the time from what I've seen, they'll use snail mail or the phone. However, when one receives an IM from the "FBI," let them make the first moves. They should have all your info in front of them including your case number and related information.

My own experiences almost exactly mirror Dianarez's experience in her Scamming Deaf via Sidekick blog post. In my case, this other person tried to impersonate a police chief in Ohio. They were very interested in knowing who this person was when I contacted them. If you see ddaservice on AIM, that's the person. Another time it was a business.

One way they get your info is via DeafVP. That's a scammer's paradise right there since all IM info is out in the open. Make it so they have to email you for the info, like I do. When I removed my info, the IMs from them stopped.


Update 3/24/2009:

When posting chat logs anywhere, change your AIM name to something like [name_removed], and remove your personal info with [personal_info_removed]. This way, you're protecting yourself from worse things like ID theft.

Let's get this powerball4real8 idiot OFF the air!

Growing up Deaf - Final

Looking to the future

Post-college, there are times that it seems that old friends have disconnected. Those who mistreated you have apologized or don't seem to care. While you tend to keep in touch with those you met back in college over time, it's too easy to lose contact with those you grew up with. I was never able to keep in contact with the other old friends from before high school due to all the moving we did. I've found some from high school and before via Internet searches. I would like to hear from my previous teachers if I can find them again.

After high school, I started finding out about the social stuff that I had missed. After college, I found I had missed much more. Almost no one invited me over for birthday parties, dinners, overnights, the usual things of growing up. That included missing the prom and finding out what it was all about.

Here's a message I posted to an email list in response to a low-vision friend who has a guide dog when she was complaining about some things related to the church she was attending;


> I'd bail. Start looking for some place that's closer and easier to get
> to. Two hours away, two hours back -- that's four hours a night just to
> be rejected. And that far away, there's little or no chance of
> outside-of-Tues-night contact if you do connect with anyone.

Yep... Kinda the story of our lives. If you're the only one at the church with a vision problem, and people aren't talking or interacting with you, then you know something's wrong.

How many times have I heard the stories of deaf kids and others who have never been invited to a sleepover, never been invited to a birthday party, never been called by their friends, never been visited by them, none of them ever gone out of their way to be on the kid's side after they're going through teasing, always being picked last, always eating alone at lunch, no one talking with you at lunch...

That flippin' *HURTS!* It gets worse when adults are doing it and they start creating cliques or reject you due to your disability. Even worse when they ignore you or refuse to interact with you...


We can't always dwell on the past. Neither can we change it. The future can have better things in store for us. If we move on with our lives, then we have become better for it.

Thanks for reading the serial.

Growing up Deaf - Part 24

Attending Summer camps

I had my share of summer camps including the day camps. One was a church thing that went for a few weeks. I had one counselor who kept accusing me of being able to hear. I don't remember what someone told him that made him quit saying that.

Another one was in Illinois with my church group and I was the only deaf person there. I did sign a song at one point. They allowed only clean graffiti in the cabins. The high point of my time there was this mudfight. It was rather fun being the last to leave and a mud man on the way to the showers.

One was a deaf church camp in Louisiana. It was the first time I was around this many other deaf, and my signing skills weren't that great. I had some people be my voice interpreter in a class or elsewhere as needed. Interestingly enough, one of the former counselors lives near me today. The pastor mentioned previously in Part 7 was Clifford Bruffey. He will be missed. He passed away in 2001, I believe.

Next - Final Growing Up Deaf post - Looking to the Future